Secret Weapon  

Posted by Stephen Lowe

This may look like your average hair dryer, but it's not.  It's a secret weapon that produces the exact harmonic frequency to put a crying infant into an instant comatose state.  The effects are immediate once the device is switched on, the infants eyes glaze over and close within seconds.  Switching the unit off will immediately rouse the infant back into a highly irritated state.  There are currently no known adverse side affects to the infant, although many exist for the parents.  These include but are not limited to; irritability, inability to sleep through the constant noise, loss of ability to converse over noise, loss of ability to use phone in vicinity of device and loss of ability to hear other children in the house who may be in need.  Although the risks seem high, they well outweigh the possible alternatives of not using the device, I highly recommend getting one of these!


Ahh, yes. We have a similar device in Kaylee's room, though it offers various other sound options and is called a "sound machine." The sound we have gone with (that won out over chirping crickets, waterfalls, ocean sounds, birds, heartbeat, etc...) is white noise. Basically the "Infant Stun" sound. I hear it over the baby monitor at the moment.

About Me

My name is Stephen Lowe. I'm a Christ follower, Husband, Father, Technologophile and Metalhead. This is where I dump my observations and opinions on whatever strikes me as noteworthy. Enjoy, discuss, disagree, I'm cool with whatever.

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